Sunday, December 26, 2004
Some Thoughts on New Years Resolutions
Ah, January 1st - the time of the year when everyone is thinking about a fresh start. "This year I will ______ less or _____ more" - feel free to choose from a host of options, including (but not limited to) eat, smoke, masturbate, sleep, watch porn, vote republican, eat sugary cereals and watch 'Jackass'.
Me? I don't believe in New Year's resolutions. It's not that I don't have room for improvement, mind you - it's just that the idea of making a pact with yourself to become a better person seems kind of...pointless. Has anyone ever kept a New Year's resolution (such as losing weight, quitting smoking, cutting back on drinking, etc.) for more than a few weeks? It's almost like the very point of making resolutions is to break them; why, exactly, would I set myself up to fail?
If you're reading this, thanks. Really, I appreciate you occasionally stopping by to see what new infectious matter has seeped uncontained from my cerebellum. As a reward, I offer you the following New Years promises:
1) I will not make any resolutions. But then you already guessed this.
2) I will blog more in 2005 than in the closing months of 2004. I've started a new job, run low on topics, blah, blah, blah. In other words, I've just gotten lazy, and for that I apologize.
3) I'll even add photos to my blog in the near future. Just as soon as my cro-magnon brain figures out the coding and finds a new host site.
4) I WILL get my shit together in the coming year, job wise. I've tried to avoid talking about work in my blog, because the LAST thing you need is another guy bitching about how much his job sucks. I'll leave it at this: I started a new job on December 1st, which I've grown to dislike immensely in under 30 days. Quitting would be career suicide, and I'd have to find a completely new career or line of work. If for NO OTHER reason, you should check back here regularly to see if I've flushed it all. Who knows - I may be coming to a homeless shelter near you...
5) I'll ride more in '05. I've gotten away from riding, and this in itself is disturbing. Without the bike, I've got precious little to reboot my karma, and that's not a good thing for a guy who owns guns.
6) I'll be better about reading your blogs as well. Let's face it - we don't do this for the money. We write these blogs because we want others to read them and give us feedback. In 2005 I'll be better about giving you my opinions, whether you want them or not.
7) I will try to stay sane in an insane world. We're living in dangerously odd times. Times where little girls can be arrested for bringing scissors to school, and times where you can't say "bitch" on the radio for fear of bringing down the wrath of the FCC. Somehow, it's obscene to show the naked human form (even as marble statues) but perfectly permissable to let TV televangelists offer to save your soul for the low, low introductory price of only $59.95 (buy now and we'll throw in this fabulous Ginsu knife collection). Yes, brothas and sistas, these are fucked up times, but I promise you this - I'll take point and charge blindly into the fog, as long as I can count on you to cover my back. Fair enough?
So there are my New Year's anti - resolutions. I hope you all have a happy and healthy New Year, and I wish you much joy and good fortune in the coming year. One thing's for sure - it's bound to be an adventure.
Peace!
Bike Guy
Me? I don't believe in New Year's resolutions. It's not that I don't have room for improvement, mind you - it's just that the idea of making a pact with yourself to become a better person seems kind of...pointless. Has anyone ever kept a New Year's resolution (such as losing weight, quitting smoking, cutting back on drinking, etc.) for more than a few weeks? It's almost like the very point of making resolutions is to break them; why, exactly, would I set myself up to fail?
If you're reading this, thanks. Really, I appreciate you occasionally stopping by to see what new infectious matter has seeped uncontained from my cerebellum. As a reward, I offer you the following New Years promises:
1) I will not make any resolutions. But then you already guessed this.
2) I will blog more in 2005 than in the closing months of 2004. I've started a new job, run low on topics, blah, blah, blah. In other words, I've just gotten lazy, and for that I apologize.
3) I'll even add photos to my blog in the near future. Just as soon as my cro-magnon brain figures out the coding and finds a new host site.
4) I WILL get my shit together in the coming year, job wise. I've tried to avoid talking about work in my blog, because the LAST thing you need is another guy bitching about how much his job sucks. I'll leave it at this: I started a new job on December 1st, which I've grown to dislike immensely in under 30 days. Quitting would be career suicide, and I'd have to find a completely new career or line of work. If for NO OTHER reason, you should check back here regularly to see if I've flushed it all. Who knows - I may be coming to a homeless shelter near you...
5) I'll ride more in '05. I've gotten away from riding, and this in itself is disturbing. Without the bike, I've got precious little to reboot my karma, and that's not a good thing for a guy who owns guns.
6) I'll be better about reading your blogs as well. Let's face it - we don't do this for the money. We write these blogs because we want others to read them and give us feedback. In 2005 I'll be better about giving you my opinions, whether you want them or not.
7) I will try to stay sane in an insane world. We're living in dangerously odd times. Times where little girls can be arrested for bringing scissors to school, and times where you can't say "bitch" on the radio for fear of bringing down the wrath of the FCC. Somehow, it's obscene to show the naked human form (even as marble statues) but perfectly permissable to let TV televangelists offer to save your soul for the low, low introductory price of only $59.95 (buy now and we'll throw in this fabulous Ginsu knife collection). Yes, brothas and sistas, these are fucked up times, but I promise you this - I'll take point and charge blindly into the fog, as long as I can count on you to cover my back. Fair enough?
So there are my New Year's anti - resolutions. I hope you all have a happy and healthy New Year, and I wish you much joy and good fortune in the coming year. One thing's for sure - it's bound to be an adventure.
Peace!
Bike Guy
Saturday, December 11, 2004
Ten Things to do Before I Die
Most people have a "ten places to go" or a "ten people to meet" list that they hope to accomplish in their lifetimes. I don't. In fact, I've never really sat down to hash this out before, so I reserve the right to edit the list as other things come to mind. Truth be told, I am mercilessly ripping the idea off from the short lived TV show "Boomtown", where one of the key characters had a list of ten things to do before he died. Unlike him, "banging a hooker" was never really that important to me.
So without further ado, here are the ten things (off the top of my head) I hope to do before going on to hang with Zevon:
1) Ride a motorcycle across the desert at night. If you've never traveled the desert at night, I'm not sure I can explain this one to you. There is something mystical about it - distances become irrelevant, and visual perception becomes suspect. Are those approaching lights a mile away, ten miles away or 50 feet away? If, on the other hand, you HAVE driven across the desert at night, well - you understand why I'd want to do this.
2) Write a best selling novel - yeah, I know - it's cliche. Still, I've got it in me: I know, with absolute certainty, that one day I'll sit down at a keyboard and bang out the great American novel. In one sitting. Without interruption.
3) Drive a car that scares me. As a former racer and driving instructor, I've driven a fair number of vehicles, from the mundane to the extraordinary. Ironically, I've yet to drive a car that put the fear of God into me, and I'd like to experience this once before I die. Perhaps a race tuned Group B Quattro on a gravel rally course, or an F1 car from the glory days of the turbo era (1200 HP from 4 cylinders). Anything that would produce soiled Nomex is fine with me...
4) Own a Beck Spyder. Although this is the world's LEAST practical car (two seats, no usable top or storage room, no heat, radio or air conditioning), it is the one example I can think of where a copy is better than the original (the 1955 Porsche 550 Spyder). I also think it's the most beautiful car ever designed, but hey - your mileage may vary.
5) Fly on a supersonic aircraft. I didn't realize until after the Concorde was grounded that I REALLY wanted to fly on it. Just once. Maybe the days of supersonic passenger air travel aren't over, and I'll get another chance.
6) Take an extended driving/riding tour of the US. Gotta bang out that novel first, but when the bills are paid and the cash is in the bank, you can color me and the missus gone for a good six months or so. I need to go find the REAL America - it's out there, underneath the megastores, malls, chain restaurants and other pre-digested culture. Don't worry - I'll send you a postcard when I find it.
7) Build a house of my own. Sure I like the place I live in now, but someone else built it. A house of my own design and construction would fit me like a glove - I'd know where everything was, how everything was built, why things were done a certain way. Hell, if I can get a lucrative contract for my SECOND novel, I may even build summer AND winter houses.
8) Revisit Berlin and Stuttgart. I was last in Berlin in 1981, before the wall came down. It was an eye-opening experience for me as a teenager, and I'd love to go back and see it again post-communism. Spent some time in Stuttgart as well, and found it more charming than Munich.
There's also a branch of the family that remains a mystery. Apparently my German grandfather had more than one wife and more than one set of children. Wouldn't mind learning more about THAT...
9) Learn to play guitar. For me, this is slightly MORE ambitious that walking on the moon, since I have absolutely NO musical talent whatsoever. There's just something that feels right about holding a guitar, and I've got more obscure guitar knowledge than most musicians. All I need is lessons, practice and time. And a guitar.
10) Do a frame-off restoration of a classic car. Maybe a '68 Camaro or a '69 Mach 1 Mustang, I dunno. I'm a realist - there's stuff (like paintwork and upholstery) that I don't have the talent or patience to do. The mechanical stuff I could easily jump right into; hell, I've even got all the tools I'd need. For a gearhead like me, few things could be more satisfying.
So the common thread to my list appears to be cash. With a few exceptions, all of my "to do" list requires a great deal of green stuff. Any chance I could get you guys to buy my novel in advance?
So without further ado, here are the ten things (off the top of my head) I hope to do before going on to hang with Zevon:
1) Ride a motorcycle across the desert at night. If you've never traveled the desert at night, I'm not sure I can explain this one to you. There is something mystical about it - distances become irrelevant, and visual perception becomes suspect. Are those approaching lights a mile away, ten miles away or 50 feet away? If, on the other hand, you HAVE driven across the desert at night, well - you understand why I'd want to do this.
2) Write a best selling novel - yeah, I know - it's cliche. Still, I've got it in me: I know, with absolute certainty, that one day I'll sit down at a keyboard and bang out the great American novel. In one sitting. Without interruption.
3) Drive a car that scares me. As a former racer and driving instructor, I've driven a fair number of vehicles, from the mundane to the extraordinary. Ironically, I've yet to drive a car that put the fear of God into me, and I'd like to experience this once before I die. Perhaps a race tuned Group B Quattro on a gravel rally course, or an F1 car from the glory days of the turbo era (1200 HP from 4 cylinders). Anything that would produce soiled Nomex is fine with me...
4) Own a Beck Spyder. Although this is the world's LEAST practical car (two seats, no usable top or storage room, no heat, radio or air conditioning), it is the one example I can think of where a copy is better than the original (the 1955 Porsche 550 Spyder). I also think it's the most beautiful car ever designed, but hey - your mileage may vary.
5) Fly on a supersonic aircraft. I didn't realize until after the Concorde was grounded that I REALLY wanted to fly on it. Just once. Maybe the days of supersonic passenger air travel aren't over, and I'll get another chance.
6) Take an extended driving/riding tour of the US. Gotta bang out that novel first, but when the bills are paid and the cash is in the bank, you can color me and the missus gone for a good six months or so. I need to go find the REAL America - it's out there, underneath the megastores, malls, chain restaurants and other pre-digested culture. Don't worry - I'll send you a postcard when I find it.
7) Build a house of my own. Sure I like the place I live in now, but someone else built it. A house of my own design and construction would fit me like a glove - I'd know where everything was, how everything was built, why things were done a certain way. Hell, if I can get a lucrative contract for my SECOND novel, I may even build summer AND winter houses.
8) Revisit Berlin and Stuttgart. I was last in Berlin in 1981, before the wall came down. It was an eye-opening experience for me as a teenager, and I'd love to go back and see it again post-communism. Spent some time in Stuttgart as well, and found it more charming than Munich.
There's also a branch of the family that remains a mystery. Apparently my German grandfather had more than one wife and more than one set of children. Wouldn't mind learning more about THAT...
9) Learn to play guitar. For me, this is slightly MORE ambitious that walking on the moon, since I have absolutely NO musical talent whatsoever. There's just something that feels right about holding a guitar, and I've got more obscure guitar knowledge than most musicians. All I need is lessons, practice and time. And a guitar.
10) Do a frame-off restoration of a classic car. Maybe a '68 Camaro or a '69 Mach 1 Mustang, I dunno. I'm a realist - there's stuff (like paintwork and upholstery) that I don't have the talent or patience to do. The mechanical stuff I could easily jump right into; hell, I've even got all the tools I'd need. For a gearhead like me, few things could be more satisfying.
So the common thread to my list appears to be cash. With a few exceptions, all of my "to do" list requires a great deal of green stuff. Any chance I could get you guys to buy my novel in advance?
