Bike Guy

There are dog guys and there are non-dog guys (there's also a separate-but-equal category of cat guys, but that's a discussion for a whole other time); I, am a dog guy. Got one myself, and I have learned through the years to speak fluent dog. Ironically, my dog also understands English; he does, however march to his own drummer. Not much for conversation, either.

Actually bought a purebred dog once (years ago), and it was nothing but trouble. Turns out he was the runt of the litter, and routinely got his ass kicked by his brothers and sisters. After two weeks of sheer hell, and at the recommendation of our vet, we took the dog back to the breeder. Large breed dogs with behavioral problems and psychological scars do not make for good company. Or low insurance rates.

Got our current dog from a shelter - he's half German Shepard and half Golden Retriever. Was abused as a puppy (beaten by his previous male owner), so he had some issues to work through. The first time he saw me, it was NOT love at first site - he backed away, tail between his legs, growling with teeth bared through the bars of his cage. "Fuck you", he seemed to say "I'm not taking another newspaper upside the head. Come in this cage, on MY turf, and I will rip you limb from motherfucking limb".

Always up for a challenge, my wife and I took him outside. He was indifferent to her - two homes in a year and a half will do that to a dog - but kept his distance from me. She'd throw a ball, he'd run over and grab it (not bring it back - just grab it). I'd throw a ball, he'd give me the attitude filled glance, like "I got your ball right here...". So I waited, let him sniff around a bit, before I got down on my hands and knees and charged him. He stopped what he was doing, tilted his head and shot me a "WTF?" look. I charged him again, this time slapping the ground in front of him. It clicked instantly, and the only way I can describe his expression was, "Holy fuck - YOU SPEAK DOG!". He mock charged me and backed off; I did the same. In fifteen minutes of wrestling on a cold, dirty concrete patio I was able to undo a year and a half of mistreatment. It took time, but he learned that not all guys suck.

He's been with us for about ten years now, and he's still in great health. Half clown and half bodyguard (once got between my wife and a black bear under our deck), he's always good company.

Why do I bring this up? Because we're doing a fund raiser dog walk this weekend for the local animal shelter. If I can ask you a favor, it'd be this: next time you decide to get a dog, go look at your local shelter before running out to buy a purebred. There are a lot of dogs out there that need a good home.