Bike Guy

I've owned seven different motorcycles over the last 21 years, most of them Japanese. Time was that all of the major Japanese manufacturers had what was known as the "UJM" - Universal Japanese Motorcycle. These were bikes that were equally adept at sport riding (back in the days when dragging your knee was a BAD thing, because it meant you'd just low-sided), commuting and touring. They were cheap, plentiful and easy to wrench on. Despite what others will say, these bikes also had a lot of personality. Some, like the quiet little librarian chica in the corner, thrived on abuse ("Yeah, that's it - flog me harder! Make me your bitch!"). Others required a bit of subtle romance to keep going ("Hey baby, got you a nice bottle of fork oil and a new set of points. What do you say we get freaky this weekend?").

By the late '80s, the UJM had all but ceased to exist as manufacturers tried to pigeonhole riders into the "cruiser" camp, the "sportbike" camp or the "touring" camp. Bikes became ridiculously niche specific. You needed a GSXR for track days, a GoldWing for the weekend camping trips and a cruiser for riding to work (or bad, bad idea - the local bar). This was (obviously) good for the manufacturers, but bad for riders - who's got the time, money and garage space to own, maintain, insure and ride a fleet of bikes?

Around 1999, BMW rolled out a bike called the R1100S. Originally, it was intended to replace the existing R1150RS, a sport-tourer that was showing signs of age. BMW had high hopes for the 1100S; it was the sportiest BMW in years, but all-day comfortable and easy to maintain. In short, BMW had re-invented a modern version of the UJM.

I lusted after this bike for years, before I finally took the plunge and bought a used one in the fall of 2001. One test ride and I was inescapably, irreversably hooked. I NEEDED this bike like a junkie needs a fix; like Kerry needs electoral votes. There are times in a man's life when rationality goes right out the window; the Id kicks in and WILL NOT be denied. This was one of them.

In 21+ years of riding, I have never encountered a bike that I enjoy as much as the S. Most people just don't get them - they're not as comfortable as the typical Beemer (because they provide much better feedback), aren't nearly as powerful as a typical Japanese sportbike (but does anyone really need to ride faster than 140 MPH in the US, anyway) and look, well... funky. You either get them or you don't - like garlic ice cream, there's not much room for middle ground here

So what does this mean? Well, resale on BMW 1100S bikes is for shit, and no one knows if they'll be updated with the rest of the R line. But you know what? I don't care. Like the UJMs of old, the S has become cheap and plentiful. When mine wears out, I'll just snap up another for pennies on the dollar.

I guess I'm a sucker for things that other people just don't get...