Bike Guy

It's called "the sun", and unless the day is overcast it will rise in the east every morning. Primative cultures worshipped the sun, making offerings and conducting sacrifices to this strange god. Apparently, some people still do.

My fellow commuters, the sun is not to be feared or worshipped, only appreciated. You need not come to a complete stop wile driving into its warming embrace; I assure you, it WILL NOT smite you down. You need not freeze, mouth agape like you're witnessing a divine revelation (trust me, you're not - God's not into the big production thing these days). Instead, try this simple, calming action.

DRIVE.

Yes, that's it, drive. Don't come to a complete fucking stop as you round a corner into the sun, causing accidents and further pooching the rush hour commute. You KNOW where the sun is going to be - it's there every day. It's not getting (noticeably) dimmer, so here are a few things you can do to cope with it:

1) Sunglasses. This miraculous invention has been around for hundreds of years. Sunglasses (or, shades, as they are occasionally called) actually REDUCE the amount of light being transmitted to your eyes. One possible benefit? When wearing sunglasses, you can drive into the sun with little fear of reduced visibility.

2) Visor. This handy device flips down from the top of your windshield (inside the car) and actually BLOCKS the sun. Trust me; it doesn't erase the sun or snuff it out. Instead, using the miracle discovery of opaque fabric it eliminates the sun glare from your view, allowing you to drive unimpeded. Visor technology has become so advance that most now SWIVEL, allowing you to block the sun both in front of you and beside you. What will they think of next...

3) Squinting. Yes, when given no other options you can actualy narrow your eyelids (only partially while driving, please) to reduce the amount of light hitting your optic nerve. Squinting has the unintended benefit of making you look intellectual (or psychotic), often giving pause to those around you.

I'm no pagan, but if I have to deal with another 25 MPH commute because other drivers can't maintain a reasonable speed while driving into the sun, I will SERIOUSLY contemplate some human sacrifice.